life

I Have a Blue House with a Blue Window

Lately, blue is the color that has described my life. It isn’t that I’m totally sad or totally hating life or am generating negative press for the color blue for the sake of being a whiny blogger (after all, it’s a great color), but it’s like that Eiffel 65 song without the peppy tune. Maybe I’ve been having a quarter life crisis, brought on by not knowing what I want to do with my life, not knowing where to start what I don’t know what to do, and not knowing why I’ve had such shoddy luck getting companies to even look at my resume (I swear I know how to type! Take a chance on me!).

 

I’m sure that’s a contributing factor to my blueness, but it’s also the lack of inspiration that has been dragging me down. It’s hard looking back on my blog and seeing all of the crazy stuff I wrote before, because I clearly (once upon a time) had mondo writing mojo, filled with snappy humor and unique perspectives. It’s hard having had a job that drained you so completely of ideas and inspiration, it’s even harder getting back to a version of you that you like. As a creative person, the stalling of ideas has been really hard. I might be out of that stifling environment, however, the ideas and confidence in my ability to – arguably – do what I do best didn’t rush back to me like I thought it would. I’ve started a lot of entries that never make it out of a folder. Paragraphs of fiction and non-fiction, character-driven pieces and show reviews that stop at a couple hundred words. They’re shelved because I don’t think they’re good. I have no idea if they’re actually bad, yet that nagging part in my brain has irrevocably convinced me that they’re not worthy of seeing the light of the internet.

 

My friends told me to write more, because that’s really the best way working through a block. I still contribute to a couple blogs, creating content that I actually really dig. It’s the personal side that’s neglected and sad, I don’t want it to stay that way. That statement definitely applies to life outside of writing as well, but this post has already turned more sappy than I wanted.

 

I’ve been cooking more, reading more, and waking my dog up from his slumber to entertain me more. Hopefully, I’ll be able to snap out of this funk with enough time to do things that I love to do – review fashion shows and review television shows and write things that I feel are an accurate representation of what I’m capable of.

 

To writers and readers alike: what do you do when you’re blue to break the funk?

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5 thoughts on “I Have a Blue House with a Blue Window

  1. Oh baby girl! I know how you feel. My son (around your age) just went through this. It’s like– Please please please look at my stellar resume! Please just give me a chance! Please call me back for Christ’s sake! He graduated in July. Found a job at a gourmet food market in October and just now- like 2 weeks ago- found a job in his field – writing and editing. It’s part time, the pay is relative crap, but he loves it! He’s working the other job too for the benefits so like 60+ hours a week.
    It is so tough out there. Wanna write a guest post for me on exactly how tough it is for you millennials?

    • It’s definitely hard. I’m looking for a full time job that can pay me benefits so I can have more freedom to write on the side. I’m more than willing to start at the bottom of a pyramid, as long as I can actually support myself off the income – I quit a full time job recently that paid me below minimum wage and treated me rather poorly and while I thought that was the right decision at the time, the past few weeks of not getting any positive feedback back has made me wonder if I should have stuck it out in the horrible environment. At least I would have a job. Part of me knows that I needed to quit because I deserve better, but when better doesn’t come along it’s like “wellll…..”

      But! Hearing about your son is very encouraging. Thanks! Sometimes, when you feel down, it’s hard to remember that others are also having a hard time.

      I’d love to write a guest post! I promise not to make it too whiny! (:

      • The exact same thing happened to my son before he went back to school for another degree – he had a job and he left because they were so awful! I would love a guest post and feel free to be whiny. I’ll send you something I’ve been thinking about and you tell me what you think.

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