- Know that feeling when you’re in a bar and you check out the beer prices and feel like you’re living in a cosmic virtual reality, because there is no way in hell they’re seriously selling a pint of PBR for $4? Blame those prices on hipsters, as some people claim that the ironic drinking of cheap beer is the cause of the higher price. Yikes. Just buy a delicious microbrew instead, your soul will appreciate it.
- Sorry Avengers fans, there is a big chance that Jeremy Renner is going to be recast for the sequel. If we remember what they did to James Rhodes, they won’t even bat an eyelash.
- Apparently, a new “study” correlates the kind of literature women read with how much action they get, or, more accurately, how down to fuck they are. What a crock of anger-inducing shit. But… then again, my tastes in various genres of literature, by their logic, makes me a skank of the highest magnitude, of course I wouldn’t like my apparent promiscuity confirmed.
- David Beckham is retiring from soccer, but I’m fairly certain the riots in the streets will be strictly based on whether or not this means the end of his mostly-naked H&M underwear ads.
- Nancy Drew presents: The Mysterious Case of Beyonce’s Missing Single
- A recent poll shows that most Americans hold a negative opinion of the IRS. Shit, next I’ll be reading articles about the dirtiness of dirt and the wetness of water.
- Who needs coffee when you can get your caffeine fix when you’re brushing your teeth?
- All of you can stop sending mail to Jeff Goldblum and Matthew Jordan, the University of Illinois has created a camera that allows people to see what it’s like to see the world through an insect’s eyes.
- When you have your heart broken into a million, itty-bitty, ground up, spit out, stepped on bloody pieces, there is just one thing to remember: thousands and thousands of dollars worth of plastic surgery will fill up that now gaping hole in your chest cavity. Or, you know, something like that.