Some of you may have been wondering where I’ve been this week; after all, I usually and regularly update, and yet…hotdiggitydaffodil lies quiet. Even if you’re not wondering, I’ll let you know what I’ve been getting into. Occasionally, I work and help out on my aunt and uncle’s orchard (comprised primarily of organic apples, cherries and hazelnuts, but branching into apricots and pears) and cattle ranch. Why? Although it may shock you, an infant freelance writing career doesn’t rake in major dollar bills and money is kind-of, sort-of needed to get by. Also, it allows me to get out of my like-hate relationship with Portland, clear my mind, and work my muscles for nine to ten hours a day (I’m gunning for you, far away bikini season).
As my significant other and I were thinning apple tree blossoms in the lovely spring day storm weather combination of hail-sun-hail-rain-sun-hail-sun, we looked at the cows that were grazing in the far field, chomping and chewing away. A poignant thought arrived as a piece of pea-sized hail managed to worm its way beneath my coat and down my back: “with all that time on their hands, cows must have incredibly deep thoughts. Existential shit. I bet they’ve solved all of the problems of the world and we just don’t know it. Their minds are just filled with existential tangents and the secrets of humanity. When they moo, they’re really asking each other how do they live within their cages? Do they know that they’re doing it wrong? Why do we turn into hamburgers, when we are of the bovine orientation? Why do humans revolve around violence?”
He stared at me, probably wondering whether or not it was tree fifty or fifty-one where I jumped the sanity boat and said, “if you made an album called existential tangents, you’d make millions.” Meanwhile, I was just thinking of the amazing potential for a children’s novel in this idea. Will it ever happen? Probably not, but don’t y’all go wondering around with that ace idea. I will know where you nabbed it.
So, I worked for a week and am now home, where my dog greeted me with tail waggles and excitement expedited gas, which made me feel so loved. How am I feeling? Wordwise, I’m feeling recharged. Healthwise, I feel so sick. You know that feeling when you have a cold and you know the cold is getting worse because the more you’re awake and putz around the worse it becomes? Your scratchy throat becomes a little more mucus-y? The congestion in your head spreads around your entire dome until all you feel is pressure and horrible grossness? YUP, that’s occurring. Have no fear, I’ll be drinking green tea after 5PM to stay awake for Vikings for my notations and jokes, and will hopefully be back to posting-normal during the week.
This has been Shannon updating you on the thrilling aspects of her life.