- Ryan Gosling is taking a break from acting because he “needs a break from himself.” What’s that? Don’t you hear it? It’s the sound of tumblr’s heart breaking into a million sepia-toned pieces. Now, I know that it will be hard to cope with not seeing Gosling’s puppy dog pout everywhere, so here is a picture of Tom Hardly with a puppy.
- Kanye and Kim have leaked the name of their baby: North West. North. West. I know that Kris is krying somewhere over the injustice of not having a K-named grandchild, so I think that the kid’s name should actually be Knorth West, with a silent K, like in “knife,” like what I want to do to myself whenever I see that this kouple still remains on the top of everyone’s list.
- Related: Duck Dynasty has a higher viewership than Kourtney & Kim Take Miami.
- Also related: Guys, seriously. Guys. I have some really seriously amazing news. Duck Tales (WooOooo!) is coming back from Duckburg to solve mysteries, rewrite history, and infiltrate my head with its catchiness for the rest of my life with all of the original voice actors. Right now, with the break of this news, my mom is slowly driving nails into both of her ears to save her from reliving the memory of hearing that theme song at least eight times a day throughout a four year span.
- My Chemical Romance, that band everyone listened to to air out their teenage emo feelings, is no more. Sucks to be Hot Topic right about now, but I think that My Chemical Romance had to die so that Fall Out Boy could live – there can only be one.
- InAPPropriate, the sketch comedy that takes place within Lindsay Lohan’s hoohaa, is a terrible movie.
- Chinua Achebe, the Nigerian writer of Things Fall Apart, passed away at 82. For the record, I actually really liked reading Things Fall Apart in AP English, so this is really sad. RIP.
- “I want Drake to murder my vagina” – Amanda Bynes. Girl, we talked about this.