- Never fear fashionophiles, I’m working on a small recap of Paris Fashion Week for later in the week. For that entry, I’m scoping out the latest shows, yet I’m distracted. The whitewashing and racism of high fashion has come back into the conversation after a completely and utterly tasteless editorial was published by French powerhouse Numero, featuring “the American [read: white] model Ondria Hardin posing as an ‘African queen,’ her skin painted in black,” and the lack of color on the runways has become glaringly obvious. Sure, you can issue half-apologies and swear that you aren’t racist because you totally do use black models sometimes, but it doesn’t mean that it isn’t, well…racist as hell. It isn’t as if I can combat racial discrimination in the fashion world from my couch, I just think it’s equal parts sad and pathetic. What’s next? Minstrel fashion shows?
- Mario Balotelli has ordered a life-size statue of himself. It will be eine Mischung of classical and pop styles, cast “in platinum and coloured bronze with the eyes made of precious stones.” This story got a lot less creepy when I realized they weren’t talking about Mario Batali, but about a self-centered Italian footballer.
- Sometimes the world is better when certain Hollywood films get canned before or during production, this is my only thought as I look at the would-be Thing and Dr. Doom from a film that never came to fruition. I haven’t been this relieved that a movie was never made since I saw those pictures of Nic Cage as Superman. I’m still having nightmares about that receding hairline.
- In today’s news that everyone already knew about me, I hate Tom Brady. I just hate him so much.
- Litter was found at the bottom of a deapsea trench. Nothin’ snarky coming, I just think it’s sad.
- The mock-Dior ads everyone is making in honor of the fall seen ‘round the world, brought to us by Jennifer Lawrence, look way way better than actual Dior ads. I wish I fell as gracefully as that.
- Queen Beyonce made a pair of insanely unimpressive shoes use the skin of five different animals. My only issue is that animals died to make something that ugly.
- Know a good way to overcome cultural and political tension? Send a 6’7” batshit insane giant to make amends. That’s right! Dennis Rodman is exploring the sticky ground of U.S.-North Korean basketball diplomacy. Kim Jong-un is a basketball fan, but the real question is whether or not he can appreciate a man in wedding dresses.
- Archer has been renewed for a fifth season. Sploosh.