I have been living in Portland, Oregon since I was 12. I know the city reasonably well, enjoy it reasonably enough, and, for the most part, like the people that inhabit the city. Do I plan on staying here my whole life? Absolutely not (I’m not cool enough). Does it work for now? Absolutely (but … Continue reading »
Category Archives: opinions
“Do You Like My New Coat?,” How High Fashion Labels Outweigh The Clothes
As I’ve mentioned a few times (sometimes slyly, sometimes not), I lost my steam for fashion during this fashion season. I started out so strong, calling out what was ugly, pointing out accoutrements that would take at least eighteen hours to get out of my head, choking down bile for the good of the viewership, … Continue reading »
Oh, You “Don’t Like Pets?” What’s It Like Not Having a Soul?
By 11PM Friday night, I knew something was really wrong. My dog, and one of the loves of my life, was in severe pain, confused, and couldn’t operate his legs properly. I had gingerly placed him on the couch and placed him in a cocoon of blankets, being sure to give him enough wiggle room, … Continue reading »
8 More Words We Need To Bring Back From Obscurity
Every once in a while, even if you really love something, you need a break. Sometimes you sit down and think “man, I’m going to write some funny shit,” and nothing comes out. That’s what happened these past few weeks. I’m here to please all of you, like an obedient puppy with the ability to … Continue reading »
Please, Someone Stop New Futurama From Ruining Good Futurama
If it weren’t completely and utterly obvious, I love Futurama. It isn’t just because it’s funny, clever, and witty wrapped into playful animations and inside jokes, but also because when I’m watching an episode of Futurama, I’m transported back to 1999 when I would sit cross-legged in the middle of my Dad’s living room with … Continue reading »
My Obligatory Valentine’s Day Post
Ah, Valentine’s day. The very thought of Valentine’s day conjures up images of couples in color coordinated outfits holding hands on their way to P.F. Chang’s for a regulation date that will end with slightly disappointing regulation sex, Russell Stover chocolate boxes grabbed in the express lane of Safeway when last-minute “oh-fuck-my-girlfriend-will-hate-me-unless-I-buy-this-assortment-of-questionable-quality-chocolate-so-I-better-tack-it-onto-my-purchase-of-this-shortcase-of-Bud Light” panic sets … Continue reading »
Bang With Friends shows you who is DTF on FB and it is TMI.
It is pretty much recognized that US dating scene has changed in modern era. Relationships tend not to be arranged; courting, dowries, and scandalous showings of ankles are old hat and not practiced; attending sock hops and sharing a milkshake during a date are more likely to be shown on an AMC movie marathon; chaperoning … Continue reading »
Trends I’m Sick Of IV
Living in the Pacific Northwest, I am used to wet weather. Oregon is slate grey and rainy for at least eight months out of the year, and it can get miserable, as well as seriously stint the time that you can wear cute shoes. This is why rain boots, with their classic shape and practicality, … Continue reading »
Vh1′s Making Mr. Right is so, so Wrong
I didn’t have a boyfriend until I was 20 years old. Leading up to that first relationship, I was crippled by poor self-esteem and an inability to walk with my head held high—something happened leading up to me going to Germany, perhaps an opportunity to reinvent myself and a willingness to experience new things (I’m … Continue reading »
10 Words We Need To Bring Back From Obscurity
Words. Language. As time goes by, popular phrasing, terminology and slang changes with it. Before you know it, groovy, tubular, radical….it is all old hat and people are looking at you weird if you use them. Today, we’re going to explore a small sampling of words I think we need to inject back into modern … Continue reading »
