Y’all know the drill. Here is the continuation of the Oh-Nos of Mens Fashion Week! Soon, we’ll be in NYC, but until then, here are so pretty bad Parisian misses that we all can enjoy.

Comme des Garçons Homme Plus

Sunshine, candy colors, terrycloth, tassels, puffballs and rainbows! No, I’m not talking about a 5 year old’s teatime with her imaginary friends, I’m talking Comme des Garçons Homme Plus latest collection. This collection has been dubbed as “charming,” “adventurous,” and “youthful,” but somewhere along the line, the Alice in Wonderland childlike inspiration became childish and sloppy. Not pictured: the shoulder-length synthetic wigs and the Bugs Bunny and Mickey Mouse ears. I thought I’d spare you the awkward feeling of looking at a moody child dressed by his mother at an amusement park while being thoroughly unamused.

Givenchy

This line is basically rehashed Givenchy, we see it in the photographic silk prints, the sweatshirts, lots and lots of leather. Unfortunately, with some pretty gnarly additions that take this collection from repetitive to downright ugly. I don’t know if it’s the sweaters with the mesh inserts, the pilgrim shoes, the tight black leather booty shorts that would make a male stripper blush, the puffy down jackets tied around the waist, or the baseball embellishments, but not surprisingly, a mixture of all those things created something that epitomizes the class of Kanye West.

Saint Laurent

Maybe this is my intense hatred of Hedi Slimane talking, but what is this garbage? This isn’t the slim new silhouette he developed for Dior Homme that stayed classy with a touch of trashy, something that came to define his style. You know, he created lines that were made for men and woman that would walk from the red carpet to some obscure, probably terrible sounding, indie punk band, instead of just looking like they passed out at their show. Distressed jeans, leopard print, sequined leopard print, superfluous zippers (everywhere), and the tightest jeans I’ve seen since…well, the last time Hedi delved into menswear. In fact, the skinny jeans were so tight that the casting included the odd female model—oh, wait, that’s because he’s trendy and androgynous. Actually, I’m not even going to make this about Slimane’s weird ephebophilia. I even love my men in plaid (I’m attracted to LL Bean beauties, what can I say?), but this is just horrible, not trendy, and can be found in the local Hot Topic for a fraction of what the formerly classy label will be asking. What a disgrace.

Ann Demeulemeester

Amish Mennonite Vampire Hunters.